My new vacuum really sucks

A fool and his money are soon parted.

I don’t know whether I fit Thomas Tusser’s definition of a fool, but I now know from experience that I’m a sucker for good marketing.

I bought a vacuum cleaner last night.

Never mind that my house has only wood floors. I was rapt as I watched Esteban’s friend Ming extract a handful of microscopic pebbles and several tufts of dog hair from my couch. The couch actually changed color as it was suctioned clean.

I’ll admit I was a little sad to see the dog hair go, because it was one of the last  remnants of my collie, Arrow. But I won’t miss the puff of dust that used to rise from that couch every time I sat down.

Lest you think I’m a second-rate housekeeper, I’ll confess that I’m actually a bit of a neat freak. That dusty couch has long been one of my pet peeves. But I’ve never had an effective way of cleaning it — until now.

I’m not sure how long my vacuuming craze will last. Maybe years: I’ve suddenly discovered that every single surface in my home is absolutely covered in dust.

Who knew that walls, ceilings, baseboards, mini-blinds, stairs and mattresses could be — should be — vacuumed? I’ve got to hand it to the folks at Kirby. That’s brilliant marketing.

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