You’ve no doubt noticed the apparent rash of earthquakes over the past few months. Some people are hypothesizing that this could be a sign of the coming Apocalypse, or of Christ’s impending return. Others contend that strong earthquakes aren’t really all that anomalous.

Fortunately, there’s a voice of reason emerging from all this seismic chaos: According to the Associated Press, a senior cleric in Iran has declared that earthquakes are caused by — wait … for … it — immodest and promiscuous women!

So, how has California not yet slid into the ocean?

All kidding aside, I have no doubt that our cleric friend actually believes his teachings. But the humanist in me wonders whether he’d be willing to travel to Haiti—or Chile, for that matter—and tell an orphaned child that his mother was crushed to death because she wore a tank top.

Talk about blaming the victims.