Happy End-of-the-World Day!

According to Harold Camping, today marks The End Of The World As We Know It.

But, in the words of R.E.M., I feel fine. For two reasons: First, because Harold Camping has been wrong before. And second, because—if I really am about to become a crispy critter—there’s not much I can do about it.

Harold Camping isn’t the first to scream “We’re all gonna die!” of course. Nostradamus made an entire career of it, and lots of others followed in his path. Why? Because there’s a good buck to be made in scaring people.

There’s something in the human psyche that needs to believe in an apocalypse, it seems. Most cultures have an end-of-days mythology; most religions preach an Armageddon. And it makes perfect sense, based on our observations of the natural world: Everything must end … our lives, our planet, even the universe.

But predicting that demise is another matter.

So forgive me if I don’t take the last three hours of my life too seriously, and if I instead revel in the silliness that Camping’s Apocalyptic warning has inspired. Among my favorites (so far) is this cartoon of Jesus sucking up the faithful with a giant cosmic Hoover. Awww, yeaah!

I also loved my friend Laurice’s Facebook invitation to an after-rapture looting party. As of 4 p.m., more than two million people had been invited. Only 818,030 were planning on actually looting, though.

I answered “maybe,” because I thought I might need to stay home and protect my own stuff. But some dude named David Lakin made the excellent point that I should get out and try to find some nicer stuff. Clearly, I’m new to the concept of post-rapture looting!

But of all the musings I read about this Day of Doom, my favorite came from John Kelly of the Washington Post:

People always say, “Live every day as if it’s your last.” Now we’ll have a chance to really do that.

Here’s the main benefit to the world ending on 5/21/2011: We’ll finally get some answers. … Where did God come from? What was there before the Big Bang? What’s outside the universe? How come these pants don’t fit me anymore?

Perhaps the universe is like the desktop on your computer. Now we’ll get to see what’s behind the desktop. Is it pure, white light, the cleansing rays of a benevolent spirit? Or is it another desktop, but with all the icons arranged differently?

I don’t know the answers. Maybe one day I’ll get to find out. Probably not today, though.

Back with more deep thoughts tomorrow!


  1. I completely forgot about it. So I got up early on Saturday morning and went grocery shopping as I usually do. I visited the supermarket, then the chicken shop, the delicatessen and made my way to the fruit and vegitables shop where one of the assistants who is always friendly and cheerful, even at that hour in the morning, asked me: “How are you going to celebrate?”
    “Celebrate what?” I asked, still trying to shake of the remnants of an incomplete sleep.
    “The end of the world!” he replied, as if I should have known.
    “Well, the first thing I’m going to do,” I responded, thinking on my feet, “is go home and eat all these damned groceries!”

    • I can’t think of a better way to celebrate the end of the world than by eating up a bunch of groceries! Glad to hear you didn’t waste any time worrying about it. 🙂

  2. It’s been great entertainment reading people’s responses to the end of the world. It seems to have brought out humankind’s sense of humour in a big way. I’m not laughing at – though I am completely baffled by – the people who genuinely, completely believed it was real. How must they feel today? As some kind person said, it’s easy to laugh at them, but then it’s easy to kick a puppy too…

    However, I think joking about the apocalypse itself is probably a very healthy reaction. Just to be on the safe side, though, perhaps I should throw in some good works and stuff as well. As the t-shirt says, ‘Jesus is coming: look busy’.

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