It would be hard to estimate how much money I’ve wasted on eBay.
Most of my mistakes have been minor, thank goodness. Others—a Coach purse, some Timberland boots, and a handful of cameras—I’ve been able to resell.
But a couple of my eBay purchases have been so hideous that the only appropriate response was to throw them away.
I’ll spare you sordid story about the ill-fitting Speedo triathlon suit (except to say that donning it involved copious amounts of BodyGlide, and removing it required the help of at least two able-bodied adults).
Then there’s the tale of the espadrilles.
They weren’t exactly my style, but they looked cute enough in the photo. Plus, they were only $8.99, and I did need some brown shoes for work, and it wouldn’t kill me to look a bit more feminine, and …
Anyway, I was thrilled when my new shoes arrived. They fit perfectly and—joy of all joys—they made my feet look tiny. I pranced around the living room for a minute or two, delighting in my newfound girliness.
But when I wore them to work the next day I discovered a horrible, horrible flaw: If I walked more than a few steps or strode with any sense of purpose, well … see for yourself.
My colleagues and I had a few good laughs over my fashion “faux paw.” Then I went home to change into something a bit more, um, sensible.
In hindsight I wish I’d hung onto the shoes, if only for the occasional laugh. But at least I still have the photo—and the comfort of knowing that it’s just a matter of time before some pink velour monstrosity shows up on my doorstep.