That’s *Captain* H. Barbossa


I have a mole on my face that—if left untended—sprouts enough hairs to resemble a small tarantula. I also have downy cheek fuzz that makes me look a bit like an Ewok. And to add insult to injury, my furriness seems to be increasing with age.

All of this to explain why I was searching for a “facial hair remover threading tool” the other day. Amazon suggested an array of options, ranging in cost from $0.59 to $26.39.

The cheapest options didn’t much appeal. But highest-priced of the suggestions made me laugh out loud.

Here, see for yourself:

For a brief moment, I actually considered embracing my inner pirate in all its hirsute glory—and then insisting that everyone at the office refer to me as Captain H Barbossa.

But after a cup or two of tea I regained my reason and sprang for the REM Spring Sprong instead.

I’ll let you know how it fares against the tarantula.

6 Responses to “That’s *Captain* H. Barbossa”

  1. Do it, get the parrot to match!

  2. 3 XpatScot

    Why is it that hair becomes so capricious and contrary when we grow older; appearing in unexpected, unwanted places and disappearing from where it belongs? Good luck with your depilation. Or, as the French would say: bonne recolte! 🙂

    • 4 hmunro

      I chalk it up to further proof that life is unfair, Xpat. Thanks for the good wishes — I need all the help I can get!

  3. 5 dancingbeastie

    Hah (or should I say ‘Haarrrh’) – thanks for the laugh! Very apposite, as I am in the thick of planning a pirate party for younger son’s birthday next week. I guess you could just come as you are, then? 😉

    • 6 hmunro

      Arrrr, matey, I’ll come as aye am, then! A pirate party … ah, what fun! Your son is going to be one very happy little pirate, methinks.

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