That’s *Captain* H. Barbossa

I have a mole on my face that—if left untended—sprouts enough hairs to resemble a small tarantula. I also have downy cheek fuzz that makes me look a bit like an Ewok. And to add insult to injury, my furriness seems to be increasing with age.

All of this to explain why I was searching for a “facial hair remover threading tool” the other day. Amazon suggested an array of options, ranging in cost from $0.59 to $26.39.

The cheapest options didn’t much appeal. But highest-priced of the suggestions made me laugh out loud.

Here, see for yourself:

For a brief moment, I actually considered embracing my inner pirate in all its hirsute glory—and then insisting that everyone at the office refer to me as Captain H Barbossa.

But after a cup or two of tea I regained my reason and sprang for the REM Spring Sprong instead.

I’ll let you know how it fares against the tarantula.


  1. Why is it that hair becomes so capricious and contrary when we grow older; appearing in unexpected, unwanted places and disappearing from where it belongs? Good luck with your depilation. Or, as the French would say: bonne recolte! 🙂

    • I chalk it up to further proof that life is unfair, Xpat. Thanks for the good wishes — I need all the help I can get!

  2. Hah (or should I say ‘Haarrrh’) – thanks for the laugh! Very apposite, as I am in the thick of planning a pirate party for younger son’s birthday next week. I guess you could just come as you are, then? 😉

    • Arrrr, matey, I’ll come as aye am, then! A pirate party … ah, what fun! Your son is going to be one very happy little pirate, methinks.

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