After months of wading through hip-deep snow — and enduring a mind-numbing 50 days below zero (Fahrenheit!) — I’m happy to report the start of The Great Thaw of 2014.
For once, I don’t mind slogging though the sloppy slush.
And because it’s warmed up enough that I’m no longer worried about my nostrils freezing shut, today I ventured out for my first early-morning walk of the new year.
One of my favorite things every spring is seeing what emerges from under the snow. Sometimes it’s car parts — like the mufflers and fenders that adorn most of the major intersections.
Other times, I’m amused by the more mundane, everyday objects that reappear in my neighbor’s yards.
This morning it struck me that the ability to identify these emerging objects is one of the Five Critical Skills of the Minnesotan (the other four being Mosquito-swatting, Woodtick-pulling, Snow-shoveling, and Pointless-smalltalk-making).
With that in mind, I’m pleased to introduce the first in a series of completely useless quizzes:
How Minnesotan are you?
This inaugural quiz is easy enough. Simply guess what the objects are, leave me a comment*, and I’ll automatically enter you in a random drawing** to win a bottle of hand-packed, artisanal Minnesota snow!***
Let’s start with a practice photo:
If you guessed “bicycle for a person with two butts,” you are correct! Well done.
OK. Ready to find out if you’re a Minnesotan at heart? Here are your three clues:
How did you do? Don’t worry if you didn’t get that last one — I’m not entirely certain either. But I’ll confirm for sure sometime in May or June.****
* Partial credit given for wrong-but-creative answers.
** Need not be present to win. Void where prohibited.
*** Snow may arrive as a liquid in some locations.
**** Unless it snows again, in which case I’m moving to Mexico.
HeideBlog 
I’m glad your sense of humor survived. We most notice dog poop emerging layer by layer and the dogs love all the new smell emerging from the melting snow.
How funny you should mention smell, Tom — I noticed yesterday (for the first time in months) that the outdoors has a smell again! Fortunately our yard only has two or three bits of poop that are awaiting removal. I don’t envy you that task at all; as much as I loved my dog Arrow, the big spring cleanup used to be my most dreaded of all the household chores. Ewwww.
Hmm, I’m gonna say some Christmas tissue paper, a barbecue? And a trailer?
Fingers crossed the melt continues.
Take another guess at the first response, Mariano, and you’re the winner of the grand prize! (Hint: It’s a form of journalism that some fear is becoming extinct — probably because it sometimes ends up in the middle of a pile of snow.)
Well then, I’m going to have to go with a newspaper. I’ll be happy to receive my grand prize in spirit though, I’m Canadian and I don’t think people would be too happy if I started shipping in even more snow. Hehe.
Yes! Congratulations, Mariano! Consider yourself officially awarded in spirit — as much as I’m eager to get rid of the snow, I’d hate to anger any Canadians! Haha!
Are those real things or some stuff you didn’t know what to do with and decided to plant on purpose? (a way to say i am a total stranger here)
Are you suggesting that I ripped the muffler off my car, threw it onto the boulevard last October, and drove around in a noisy plume of exhaust all winter … simply so I could take that photo? Well, OK. You got me. 🙂
Newspaper in its plastic bag, Weber grill, and I’m not sure. Do we get to see it again when more is showing?
You’re right about the first two, Roberta — and we will indeed see more of Item 3 as it appears. Even more good news? The other winner has respectfully turned down the grand prize, so it looks like you’re the proud owner of a bottle of Minnesota snow. Yay!! 😀
Minnesotan Fail! I couldn’t get any of them. And I cannot imagine living in those conditions for so long. Respect [bows].
Aw, DB … you’re welcome here anytime, even if you can’t identify a partially buried Weber barbecue. Face it: You’re utterly incapable of being a “fail” — on *any* continent. 🙂